In the Mud of Self Discovery

I feel like I've been asking myself the question of "What Should I Be When I Grow Up?" for years now. Shouldn't I know by now?

I've worked in so many fields and traveled, seen stuff, picked up weird jobs... why can't I put it all together? I'm having a career crisis that is lasting for years. This economy is still pretty bad, but then I went and moved to a rural island. What was I thinking??

Currently, I work for a nonprofit that teaches anti-drinking/drugs and no-alcohol curriculum, infusing art lessons in whenever possible to make it interesting and tolerable. On Fridays I work for the housing projects teaching art to the at-risk youth, and have to suffer through watching these poor kids deal with family members that are incarcerated and parents that are quite likely abusing them. It's really sad. It makes me cry in my car. On my off days, I try to pick up hours with my derby wife's vacation rental cleaning business, which is definitely a shift in skills and somewhat refreshing. I don't mind manual labor... it makes the time go quickly. I am in negotiations to pick up some work with a guy my roommate knows that does faux-finishing and home decoration projects, so if that happens, at least I will be getting back into the artisan industry. I lowballed him on a rate in hopes that he will take me in and give me some steady hours.

I am beginning to contemplate some other options. I don't like the idea... but a girl's got student loans... and a grocery bill.. and rent...