My career is crazy. My boss resigned due to conpiracy over copyright infringement and an astounded Hawaiian community that took offense to her role within our organization. As she makes her way out (slowly, to burn up her sick leave time), she is meeting with news reporters to slander our organization and misdirect the blame back onto our agency and its employees. It has been an extremely turbulent year at the foundation, and I am amazed at how much commotion has been stirred up since I started. I am lying low and hoping to salvage what I can during this time, and luckily the employees here are coming together in unity to uphold the integrity of the organization. I've never experienced anything like this before. I don't like reporters calling me at work. Pretty wild! Haha
My new singledom is slowly starting to get a little easier, thanks to therapy and a new exercise routine; I have been running every other day for several weeks now, starting it off with a bang by running a Thanksgiving 10 miler without training. Ouch! Since I somehow managed to finish that one, I figured it was as good of a time as ever to make it happen for myself and build on that momentum. I'm on an 8 week program that will steadily increase my distance and speed capacity through steady and interval training workouts. By the end of the 8 weeks, I should be able to swiftly handle 1-hour runs and be a more comfortably fit. The stress of life in all of its many forms have really gotten a hold of me, and I am to the point where I must fight back.
Being single feels similar to what it felt like to be in a relationship with the Writer, since I have the same routine minus spending time with him after work. Since he isn't friends with my social circle and we don't work together, his absence in my life comes mostly at night in the dark loneliness of my apartment. Bunnies are not snuggly like dogs and cats, so I've been making Christmas ornaments and watching copious amounts of Law & Order. I try to get out and do fun stuff on the weekends and reach out to friends when the loneliness feels overwhelming. Somehow it is hard to accept that we are truly in this life as individuals and must be comfortable with just ourselves...somewhere along the way I was led to believe that I must have a partner to weather the storm of dark days, and that independence was only acceptable until age 30. As I have watched all of my girlfriends marry off and spawn, I wonder what fate has in store for me in the next few years. I wonder if being a single mother is a silly idea to entertain, and if I am instead meant to adopt 4 dogs and live in this tiny 500-sq ft apartment until my retirement years, or if better things are in store for me.
Perhaps we are all dissatisfied to a certain degree with the cards we have been dealt, and life is more importantly about humbling ourselves to accept that in which we are lucky enough to get. I have 1st world problems in relation to what others in the world face on a daily basis, and I try to ground myself in that whenever I can remember to.
On my living room buffet, I have a statue of the buddha sitting under a silver tinsel tree with blue ornaments. I am a walking contradiction of life experiences and beliefs. I am me (I am by myself), but I am surviving. I need to concentrate on day to day but also start working on what is down the road, as time ticks on, never ending. A race against the clock could possibly be more of a challenge than a race of miles to run, so at this point training for a Marathon doesn't seem too out of reach.
My new singledom is slowly starting to get a little easier, thanks to therapy and a new exercise routine; I have been running every other day for several weeks now, starting it off with a bang by running a Thanksgiving 10 miler without training. Ouch! Since I somehow managed to finish that one, I figured it was as good of a time as ever to make it happen for myself and build on that momentum. I'm on an 8 week program that will steadily increase my distance and speed capacity through steady and interval training workouts. By the end of the 8 weeks, I should be able to swiftly handle 1-hour runs and be a more comfortably fit. The stress of life in all of its many forms have really gotten a hold of me, and I am to the point where I must fight back.
Being single feels similar to what it felt like to be in a relationship with the Writer, since I have the same routine minus spending time with him after work. Since he isn't friends with my social circle and we don't work together, his absence in my life comes mostly at night in the dark loneliness of my apartment. Bunnies are not snuggly like dogs and cats, so I've been making Christmas ornaments and watching copious amounts of Law & Order. I try to get out and do fun stuff on the weekends and reach out to friends when the loneliness feels overwhelming. Somehow it is hard to accept that we are truly in this life as individuals and must be comfortable with just ourselves...somewhere along the way I was led to believe that I must have a partner to weather the storm of dark days, and that independence was only acceptable until age 30. As I have watched all of my girlfriends marry off and spawn, I wonder what fate has in store for me in the next few years. I wonder if being a single mother is a silly idea to entertain, and if I am instead meant to adopt 4 dogs and live in this tiny 500-sq ft apartment until my retirement years, or if better things are in store for me.
Perhaps we are all dissatisfied to a certain degree with the cards we have been dealt, and life is more importantly about humbling ourselves to accept that in which we are lucky enough to get. I have 1st world problems in relation to what others in the world face on a daily basis, and I try to ground myself in that whenever I can remember to.
On my living room buffet, I have a statue of the buddha sitting under a silver tinsel tree with blue ornaments. I am a walking contradiction of life experiences and beliefs. I am me (I am by myself), but I am surviving. I need to concentrate on day to day but also start working on what is down the road, as time ticks on, never ending. A race against the clock could possibly be more of a challenge than a race of miles to run, so at this point training for a Marathon doesn't seem too out of reach.
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