It was just before dinnertime after the annual sk808 tournament in Hawaii, and a few of America's derby legends from across the nation were gathered on a small beach called Cromwell's just past Diamond Head on Oahu. I don't know how I grew to be so fortunate to be there, but I was. These are my favorite moments in life.
"Calamity, Demanda found an eel!," exclaimed my derby wife, Pussy GoScore.
I dropped my belongings in a heap next to her and took off towards the shoreline. I had never seen a live eel before. Did they bite? Were they big? I had to see one. Demanda Riot was knee-deep in the water among the coral shorebreak, one hand balancing on a boogie board and the other carefully holding her signature dreadlocks in a spiral on the top of her head away from the water. Her face was submerged beneath the surface as she waded delicately. As I walked out towards her, I wasn't entirely sure if she was stalking the eel, or if I was going to step on it by accident. When she saw me, she stood up and offered me the face mask.
"Check it out."
I had to keep my cool. Demanda was a derby legend, after all. I couldn't show fear. I didn't know if eels bit off toes or faces, but I was willing to take my chances in this moment because, duh: EEL. I buried my head in the water to look directly at a large Moray eel glaring wide-mouthed out from a coral formation, his beady eyes looking straight into mine. He looked like he was waiting for his photoshoot but I didn't have a camera. I took a zillion mental snapshots of this bizarre sea creature. The eerie feeling of knowing this fishy thing was capable of damage and not exactly knowing what sort of danger I was putting myself in was an interesting 30-seconds of adrenaline. I can't imagine having a run-in with a shark while scuba diving. I'll stick with eels.
I handed the mask back to Demanda, but she said I could keep it because she was going up on top of the big rock nearby to look for other stuff. I ventured on in search of other weirdness. It occurred to me as my ears fell silent that while I was submerged underwater I was temporarily in another world. A parallel universe, almost, completely separate from my M-F worries at the office and all of the stress that was happening day to day. I could seriously escape by putting my face in the ocean. This seemed like a pretty silly epiphany because it wasn't a new experience to be in the ocean, but I was digging it especially at this moment. I kept looking for coral and pretty rocks. I became an 8
Meanwhile down the beach, Ivanna, Trish the Dish, Quadzilla, Pussy GoScore, and a few others were sunning and playing in the tide pools. Ivanna found a sea cucumber and squirted it all over Quadzilla. I approached the towels as the sun started to set and Pussy mentioned how awesome Team Green was, referring to her team's jerseys from the tournament earlier that day. I decided to make her at one with "green" by pushing her into the nearby bushes. She really landed really good in the middle of them, which was funny and also caused a backlash of sand wrastling in good fun. We tossed each other a few times rolypoly until we were both covered from head to toe and in a fit of giggles. I almost peed. We joyfully went into the ocean to get the beach off of us. Then we heard Ivanna.
"Uh oh. Look at Amanda. How much do you wanna bet it's something dead?"
Further down the shoreline was a very proud Amanda Jamitinya accompanied by Dirty Verde. She marched towards us all, dangling a long, somewhat stiff object in her right hand. If it were anyone else I would think it was a stick she was holding, or maybe some seaweed... but I knew Amanda well enough to remember that she was a taxidermy hobbyist and heavily interested in roadkill. Still, like a car accident, we all had to see what she had in her hand. As if caught in a trance, walked towards her. We gathered around her in a circle.
"It's an eel! A DEAD eel!"
Ivanna wanted to touch it. Dish didn't. Now Ivanna's hands smelled bad. Put your hands in the sand. Pussy wanted to know if it could bite. Quadzilla thought it was nasty. Dirty Verde laughed. Amanda showed us how to make the mouth open and close, and we took turns touching it's rubbery skin. Ivanna took the eel from Amanda and started chasing Dish down the beach, threatening to touch her with it, then turned it on us. We sprayed in different directions, forgetting for a second that it was dead.
"It's not alive!" she reminded us. We gathered around it again. The eel was our beacon.
Amanda said it was important to pay tribute to the eel.
"Everyone make a wish."
She paused for a moment, then whisked the dead eel out over the surf towards the horizon line, the body helicoptering around in a symbolic ouroboros as it reached towards the point of the ocean meeting the sky.
"Goodbye, Mr. Eel," she said.
We turned to the right to watch the sun as it began it's descent, dipping low towards every photographer's ideal sunset.
Ivanna turned to us and insisted that we wait for the green flash.
We waited.
I didn't see it, but someone said it was there.
Just a group of big little kids, playing on the beach. Time suspended, all of our worldly concerns lost in the mist of sea and sky and sand.
"Calamity, Demanda found an eel!," exclaimed my derby wife, Pussy GoScore.
I dropped my belongings in a heap next to her and took off towards the shoreline. I had never seen a live eel before. Did they bite? Were they big? I had to see one. Demanda Riot was knee-deep in the water among the coral shorebreak, one hand balancing on a boogie board and the other carefully holding her signature dreadlocks in a spiral on the top of her head away from the water. Her face was submerged beneath the surface as she waded delicately. As I walked out towards her, I wasn't entirely sure if she was stalking the eel, or if I was going to step on it by accident. When she saw me, she stood up and offered me the face mask.
"Check it out."
I had to keep my cool. Demanda was a derby legend, after all. I couldn't show fear. I didn't know if eels bit off toes or faces, but I was willing to take my chances in this moment because, duh: EEL. I buried my head in the water to look directly at a large Moray eel glaring wide-mouthed out from a coral formation, his beady eyes looking straight into mine. He looked like he was waiting for his photoshoot but I didn't have a camera. I took a zillion mental snapshots of this bizarre sea creature. The eerie feeling of knowing this fishy thing was capable of damage and not exactly knowing what sort of danger I was putting myself in was an interesting 30-seconds of adrenaline. I can't imagine having a run-in with a shark while scuba diving. I'll stick with eels.
I handed the mask back to Demanda, but she said I could keep it because she was going up on top of the big rock nearby to look for other stuff. I ventured on in search of other weirdness. It occurred to me as my ears fell silent that while I was submerged underwater I was temporarily in another world. A parallel universe, almost, completely separate from my M-F worries at the office and all of the stress that was happening day to day. I could seriously escape by putting my face in the ocean. This seemed like a pretty silly epiphany because it wasn't a new experience to be in the ocean, but I was digging it especially at this moment. I kept looking for coral and pretty rocks. I became an 8
Meanwhile down the beach, Ivanna, Trish the Dish, Quadzilla, Pussy GoScore, and a few others were sunning and playing in the tide pools. Ivanna found a sea cucumber and squirted it all over Quadzilla. I approached the towels as the sun started to set and Pussy mentioned how awesome Team Green was, referring to her team's jerseys from the tournament earlier that day. I decided to make her at one with "green" by pushing her into the nearby bushes. She really landed really good in the middle of them, which was funny and also caused a backlash of sand wrastling in good fun. We tossed each other a few times rolypoly until we were both covered from head to toe and in a fit of giggles. I almost peed. We joyfully went into the ocean to get the beach off of us. Then we heard Ivanna.
"Uh oh. Look at Amanda. How much do you wanna bet it's something dead?"
Further down the shoreline was a very proud Amanda Jamitinya accompanied by Dirty Verde. She marched towards us all, dangling a long, somewhat stiff object in her right hand. If it were anyone else I would think it was a stick she was holding, or maybe some seaweed... but I knew Amanda well enough to remember that she was a taxidermy hobbyist and heavily interested in roadkill. Still, like a car accident, we all had to see what she had in her hand. As if caught in a trance, walked towards her. We gathered around her in a circle.
"It's an eel! A DEAD eel!"
Ivanna wanted to touch it. Dish didn't. Now Ivanna's hands smelled bad. Put your hands in the sand. Pussy wanted to know if it could bite. Quadzilla thought it was nasty. Dirty Verde laughed. Amanda showed us how to make the mouth open and close, and we took turns touching it's rubbery skin. Ivanna took the eel from Amanda and started chasing Dish down the beach, threatening to touch her with it, then turned it on us. We sprayed in different directions, forgetting for a second that it was dead.
"It's not alive!" she reminded us. We gathered around it again. The eel was our beacon.
Amanda said it was important to pay tribute to the eel.
"Everyone make a wish."
She paused for a moment, then whisked the dead eel out over the surf towards the horizon line, the body helicoptering around in a symbolic ouroboros as it reached towards the point of the ocean meeting the sky.
"Goodbye, Mr. Eel," she said.
We turned to the right to watch the sun as it began it's descent, dipping low towards every photographer's ideal sunset.
Ivanna turned to us and insisted that we wait for the green flash.
We waited.
I didn't see it, but someone said it was there.
Just a group of big little kids, playing on the beach. Time suspended, all of our worldly concerns lost in the mist of sea and sky and sand.
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