Sobering Tragedy

Have you ever had someone die in front of you? That happened to me a few weeks back, on my trip back home. Life altering.

Fatal car crash. My family and I arrived on the scene after hearing it near our cabin at midnight.

Teenagers.

Two dead, two alive.

I've seen what cancer can do to a person. I've watched someone slowly die that way.
I watched my grandpa eventually die of emphysema (actually, the day after the car crash, we spread his ashes in the lake).
But young kids? Oof.
I kept surveying the scene... it looked like a movie or NCIS or something... so it was a trip to comprehend it was real. Imagine your favorite crime show being real in front of you. Two dead teenage boys, scissored underneath the car, the roof peeled back to reveal one live girl standing on top of one of the dead boys, huddled in the fetal position. She had no idea. One girl still strapped into her seatbelt in the back, deliriously trying to orientate herself. The two boys... poor boys. Unnatural rag dolls, not wearing seat belts.
I'm still having a hard time sleeping.
My family felt so helpless... nothing we could do but keep the two live girls from moving until the medics arrived. All of the EMT, First Aid and medical background of my family, and all we could do was talk to them.

Those girls didn't know what day it was... just their names and where they were from... which is something, I guess.

I keep trying to write about it... but I don't get very far.

This tragedy really changed my perspective.
I think about all of the stupid shit I've done, and miraculously, I'm still alive. With all of my appendages.
I could have ended up like one of those kids, you know... but somehow I didn't... and that astonishes me.