Honolulu Update

As of tonight, according to the realtor in charge of selling this property, Obama's newly enacted "tenant protection clause(?)" protects me from being evicted SHOULD the property in which I live go BACK into forclosure.. The LENDER of the mortgage of this property is legally obligated to honor my 6 month lease regardless of whether or not my landlord pays on her mortgage with my rent money. I don't know what happens to my landlord if that is the case, but at this point the reassurance that I am protected for six months is all I want or need to know. As for my damage deposit... well... if/when the house is sold (if anyone buys it for $400k), the new buyer will be in charge of returning that. My roomates and I have decided to protect ourselves from any confusion about the condition of the apartment by documenting with photos prior to making any repairs/improvements as well as requesting receipts for all payments and deposits made. Unfortunately, 1/4" of grime on all surfaces and the smell of urine do not translate into photographs. The smell is horrendous. I don't know how to make it better besides rub tiger balm under my nose. True story.
I've scrubbed the floors, shower, kitchen, fridge, cupboards, walls with strong detergents and bleach. I fear that a majority if the stench is wafting up through the cracks in the barracade that separates the first floor from the second as well as through the windows.. We live on the top floor, the landlord lives with her 3 incontinent yorkies below. The landlord is disabled, in her late 60's, and does not clean up after her dogs. They piss/shit all over. It's really that bad. I didn't know the full state of this until I had already given her my deposit and signed the lease. She is a really nice woman, though. She takes us to the grocery store and out to coffee.
Every cloud has a silver lining...

This location is prime to my working district and the rent is CHEAP. Also a plus, my roomates are nice and Midwestern, which, of course, means they are genuine and hard-working. :) The husband was kind enough to remove the dozens of chewed up mouse traps from under the kitchen sink, and the wife scrubbed out all of the mousey cupboard drawers. We haven't seen or heard any mice yet... must have been good poison...

Work has been expectedly disorganized and behind schedule. I still don't have a computer, much to the dismay of the head of the higher-ups. Although the phrase "island time" was expected to come into play, I am increasingly frustrated and alarmed by the lack of direction... BUT. The department head is on my side, knows that I am trucking along anyways, and I'm doing my best to stay positive! Hahaha
Due to not having online access, I am limited to updates and web access in general to this handy ipod that I splurged on before leaving. It is the only web communication I have had in the last week, thanks to someone's open wifi connection. My phone also has some limited capabilities. I apologize for not calling more regularly, but the time frame to call has been riddled with important conversations with the realtor and to my department head, trying to get the essentials situated. I am currently looking into the health insurance headache, as I gave exhausted my migraine pill supply in one week of stress, sleep deprivation and jet lag. I am happy to report that the migraines have subsided in the past few days and I am sleeping better, so maybe I'll get lucky and not have to fill the $160 prescription before my new insurance kicks in. They say I am currently covered, but I know how that goes...

As for my money situation, my funds, the $2000 startup check from the car sale (that I had carefully counted on for this time) are frozen for 7 days in my new bank account due to it being an out of state check. Good to know. I'll be sure to alert the new incoming volunteers at the end of next year that they should prepare for that. In the meantime, I am grossly overdrawn in my TCF account and have no way to rectify it. I tried calling after I got off the phone after my work day, but the bank was closed due to the time difference. I'll try first thing in the AM, which will be noon your time. What am I supposed to do, you know? My hands are tied. I don't have credit cards. I have $4.88 to live off of per day until September 2nd, and the bus costs $2.25 each way to work. Most of my grocery money went towards cleaning supplies, and my groceries, which fit into four bags, cost me $130. Milk really is $6/gallon. I splurged on a pint and a $6 box of cereal.
The department head is checking into an emergency advancement possibility through the goverment org so that I can eat. Food stamps, which I qualify for but have not had time to work out, will offer relief. When I can find time during the work day. They take several months to receive.

I am closer to poverty and homelessness than I have ever been or ever hope to be in the future... but strangely grateful for the experience... as I now completely understand how quickly one can go from having everything ekeing out and fine (albeit dissatisfying) to utter and complete ruin in a matter of days. All due to extraordinary circumstances that were beyond my control.
I am reminded how catastrophic events such as hurricane Katrina destroy everything for the working poor that had so little to begin with in the first place, and yet many Americans call them lazy and impatiently wonder why the communities haven't rebuilt and gotten on with their lives. At least I have a job.
This brush with forclosure and how it effects people of low income brings a magnifying glass to the policies that Obama is putting into place. I probably wouldn't have even known how important that piece of legislation was were it not for this experience. Poverty and homelessness are not simply plagues of drug addicts, the mentally ill, and/or being too lazy and/or incompetent. It could happen to me. It could happen to you. Tornado, earthquake, flood, fire, crappy landlord, loss of the breadwinner, terminal illness. I feel lucky to have brains that allow me to seek out creative resources. Family. Networks. Lucky lucky lucky.

That's the gist of my first week in Hawaii, minus the horrors of the cockroach-infested couch on the lanai that is too heavy to move... Oh! Did I say that out loud?

Of Wild Boars and Dogs

Dreams (I have many) can be a delusional mass of daily events and interactions, but now they are metaphors, living, breathing visions of symbolic and meaningful monuments.
In my friend's medicine animal cards, the Wild Boar (of my dream) shows when one must face fears and overcome great obstacles. It is a test of survival, a journey towards growth and wisdom, a symbol of conquering the great beast within.
The Dog (also of my dream) is of loyalty, of honor and respect, of holding true despite suffering and strife.
This is the point where my future and my present meld into one solid mass of non-mass, the realization of my state of existence, a true interpretation of what is to come. How I stand tall today, a reason for my being, of my love and my need to give back.
It is the time of establishing a definitive plan to show gratitude, to Be by Doing.

I am centering. I am amazed by my peace. I am adjusting to big ideas, and how they will impact those around me. I am morphing. Finally.

You (dripping with honey)

You, (Muse),

First ray through my window pane,
Last gust against its frame,
Push in my proper direction,
Fill to the void in my chest,

I hear you when I'm thinking
I hear you when all is silent

You are on the spine of my favorite book

I see you in reflections on buildings
I sense you are near me always
dear, you are here,
(Your kisses of words are warm
When all is cold in my world)

You are in my bath water
I feel your presence in my bed
I see you in my kitchen, in my honey pot, in my curry
I see you in my life
dear, you are here,

I know because you are part
Of what is hope *inspiration*
What is new
What is me
(and what I soon will be)

{Is it possible to wait with bated breath
yet another day
when I have waited so many years for you?
I worry that I might die tomorrow}